Mr 10 has lately taken to saying to me very often during the day that he is bored. Strangely when I offer him a whole list of stuff to do, he declines with great pre-teen gusto and disappears into his room (not to clean it as I had suggested!). Great chunks of his day are spent on his tablet doing who knows what (don’t fret, I actually do know what and it’s not that exciting!) and building and designing Lego. So when it gets to bed time, he often heaves a great sigh and says “mummy, something feels strange”.
“What sort of strange?” I ask, knowing full well that this kid has so many emotions in him all the time and that he feels them at 600 times the strength of regular people. He will answer that he doesn’t know, so I prompt him.
“In your head? In your tummy? In your heart?” He often points sadly to his heart. He has a big one. A sensitive one. He finds it hard to hold it all in there. I guess that would feel strange. He thinks too much for a kid, always has. Big thoughts in a little body. That’s why he used to be so intense all the time. We usually can isolate what in particular is getting him that day and I can talk him through it. When he says he wants to play with kids, I can remind him that he now has a couple of friends he sees and talks to. He is making friends at scouts. He finally has a peer at OT to interact with and he even has a ‘girlfriend’ that he talks to on the phone and plays Minecraft with! So that part of his life is really coming along. Just slower than he’d like, but I also remind him that whenever I suggest attending social groups or excursions during the day with other homeschoolers, he refuses to go. He needs to be patient with the process I guess.
He did rather amusingly come to the conclusion on two recent bed time occasions of “big feelings” that what was wrong was actually that he was hungry! That made me laugh. That one was easily fixed!
We are trying to get more exercise and cut out sugars and fats a bit as he is gaining weight on his meds and I was told by my doctor recently that my blood pressure was too high and I need to lose some weight. So no more wine after the babies have gone to bed. Sigh. One glass of wine and one bowl of chips every night seems to make a difference to my sanity, but also negatively to my weight. Well it is working cutting it out, so I guess I’m happy about that. At least I have a new thing to distract me. I am the lead singer of a newly formed (as of Monday) rock band called “The Klaymores” yes, like the Celtic sword, but with a K coz I am K not a C girl.🙂 we will have our debut performance on Dec 2nd 2016! Exciting!
Mr 10 is off on Thursday to play laser skirmish with his scouts group so let’s hope he enjoys that. He really is getting better at dealing with those kinds of situations, although he does still just want to leave when it gets too full on with noise and competition and stuff. The good news though is that at least he goes and tries… Oh and that he no longer tries to kill all the people in the room with whatever he can find lying about…or words.
He learnt a very valuable lesson the other day. He was playing Minecraft with his girlfriend online and she wrote the word ‘Fak’ I the chat. He got quite upset and came to tell me that she was swearing and so he was shutting everything down and wouldn’t play with her anymore. I suggested to him that it might be better to just ask her to lease not swear on his server if he didn’t like it. He did ask her and she argued that she hadn’t swore, she had just written Fak. He was mad at her and shut down the server. I suggested that rather than getting mad like that, it might be better to have a proper conversation with her about it and talk it through. To my utmost surprise he picked up the phone straight away and called her!
Mr 10 “Hi, it’s me (Mr 10)…yeah I just wanted to tell you that I understand that you only wrote Fak, but to me thTs the same as swearing and I’d really like it if you didn’t do that on my server please.”
She responded, but I couldn’t hear what she said.
Mr 10: “oh. Thanks, that’s great. Yep I’ll go and turn the server back on so we can play”
Yay! He learned that communication is the biggest key to any relationship! He took charge of the situation, let her know he understood her position then told her what he expected from her when on his server. I was so proud! Now we just gotta work on him not telling his baby brother that if he continues to scream in the car he will put his hand over his mouth until he shuts up!!