Not quite there.

Wow, it’s really hard to find time to blog with a baby and a homeschooled ten year old. I know there are women out there who can. They probably come from the same planet as those who have multiple kids, work and somehow manage to keep their houses clean all the time. That’s not me! 

We are trialling a medication that is new for Mr 10. Movox, (fluvoxamine). It’s an anti depressant, but will hopefully help his anxiety and just slow him down a bit to give him time to think about his reactions. He still gets himself in trouble a lot. He still refuses to do schoolwork all the time. He still insists that no one likes him and he has no friends. Well that last bit is kind of true. It’s sad, but he just makes the other kids nervous. He talks too much about “weird things”. He doesn’t listen to their ideas, and he goes off angry and hurt if they lose interest in whatever he wants them to play.

He has recently been to two birthday parties, one where he became lost with all the noise and watery mayhem and pushed a little girl into the pool in his blind attempt to escape his feelings, which led the other kids to call out to him their horror and indignation, which then escalated his anxiety and made him hit the birthday boy numerous times over the head with a boogie board. This naturally got him evicted from the pool and confirmed to him that he sucks and everyone hates him and doesn’t want him around. 😦  Lucky for me, the parents of both the little girl and the birthday boy are aware and sensitive and so understanding.

The second party we had him well supervised as we knew the environment was going to be challenging. He was so great and well controlled, although he did need some serious parent scaffolding to play with the other boys and not just go off on his own. My husband left him unattended for about fifteen minutes out of a two hour party to take the baby off me for a bit and let him have a jump around. During that fifteen minutes, he talked so much to one of the boys that the kid put his hands over his ears and turned away. Yeah that was rude, particularly for a ten year old I guess. Anyway, my son was so insulted that he actually threatened to punch the kid if he didn’t remove his hands. The kid didn’t….my son punched him. Sigh. 

It’s not easy being the parent of ‘that’ kid. The one the other parents wonder why they were invited. The one whose parents have to stay at the party to supervise. The one no one really wants around. He’s confronting. He’s hard work, but he’s also funny, clever and really, really, really sensitive. Yeah, he has a mental illness. I can’t fix that. I can only keep trying new ways of helping him to cope with it and find his way in the world. He’s not quite there yet, but he sure is closer than he was three years ago.

I just hope that when he gets ‘there’, we still have the essence of him left to give the world.

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2 Responses to Not quite there.

  1. Miss Fanny P says:

    In so many ways your son really reminds me of my eldest. I soooo wish they could meet as I truly think they’d “get” each other. You know that quote about friendship where you meet and you just go “YOU TOO???” – I think that’s be them.

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