A rather ODD conversation

So we were driving home from music therapy this afternoon and Mr 9 says,

“I really want to paint my bedroom door. When we get home I will make a Lego model of the pattern I want to do and you can approve it or not.”

Me: “tell you what sweety, the back of your door is your space. I will let you put whatever you want on there, but the side facing the hallway has to match all the other doors.”

Son: “but the back of the door is so small! There is a big mirror there!”

Me: “True. We can remove the mirror then, that’s not a problem.”

Son: “nope. Daddy uses it all the time as it’s just the right height for his face.”

Me: “Daddy won’t mind. There are plenty of other mirrors in the house. You just need to make sure you use paints we already have in the shed.”

Son: “Oh. Well that’s no good. We definitely won’t have the colours I need.”

Me: “I don’t know, we’ve got a lot of different paints in there.” Then I suddenly realised I wasn’t having a conversation with my son. I was having a conversation with his ODD (oppositional defiant disorder).

Me: “Sweety, do you realise what you are doing right now?”

Son: sighs deeply, “Yes”.

Me: “You are talking your way out of getting what you asked for. I just gave you permission to do what you want, with only two rules around it, but you are finding every negative thing to say about it.”

Son: “Yes. I know.”

Me: “Is that a good thing to do?”

Son: “no.”

Me: “So… Are you happy you are allowed to paint your door?”

Son: “Yes.” ……………………………..”but I definitely have to do it BEFORE I do any schoolwork.”

Me: “uhhh. No.”

Son: “See! I knew you wouldn’t let me!”

Ahh the joys! You will be pleased to know that he did eventually do his schoolwork and cleaned out the chicken house. Tomorrow he intends to paint his door. 😉

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