Blurred lines

It is definitely getting longer between posts lately, which is a shame because actually there is more stuff to write about at the moment

! Let’s start with a general update on the new baby and the big brother’s handling of that. Mr 9 loves this baby so much that he is willing to listen and slow down and follow instructions as long as he gets to carry and cuddle the baby. There are also drawbacks to this intense level of love. So far everyone else who deals with the baby isn’t good enough in Mr 9’s eyes and grandparents are at severe risk of copping a verbal beating if the baby utters a cry while being looked after by them! This is causing me some difficulty at the moment in getting babysitters…or more to the point Mr 9 allowing certain baby sitters or not.

The title of today’s post comes from something Mr 9 said to me the other day. He was making a video record of his life (which by his own account sucks). He pointed the camera at me and said,

“Say something Mummyish!”

Me: “Ok. When you have finished that, you need to do two pages of science”

Son: “That is NOT Mummyish, that is teacherish! Try again!”

Me: with a thousand thoughts of realisation about blurred lines and how I have blurred them going through my mind, “ok. I’m sure your video will be wonderful my darling beautiful boy!”

Son:  grinning “Good. That’s much more like a mummy!”

And so I spent the rest of the afternoon lamenting how homeschooling has often taken away the time and patience I need to spend with my son being his mum and forced me into the role of his teacher.

Sadly his learning difficulties do mean that it is hard to get him to do enough traditional ‘output’ in a day to satisfy the current societal ideals of what a child should know by a certain age. Every now and then I doubt what we are doing when people question me on this, but then I do some research into learning and brain development and remind myself that these are really just non meaningful expectations set by a schooling system that doesn’t really work for many kids in the long run. He can read, he can think. He hates learning because his experience of it was so negative while in the schooling system. It is going to take a few years to undo that and help him understand that he loves learning  when it is present in a free and interesting way. That doesn’t make it any easier for me on an everyday basis though. And that’s how I have fallen into the trap of being teacherish rather than Mummyish. I hope I can slowly undo that mistake and learn to let go of the expectations of other people who don’t understand how my son works.

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2 Responses to Blurred lines

  1. Paige says:

    Please don’t beat yourself up about being both your son’s Mummy and your son’s homeschool teacher. I’ve homeschooled my son after a miserable school experience, and when I look back on it now, I think, “That was an awesome thing to do. It was hard, but it kept him from being miserable, and he’s retained his love of learning.” I can’t think of any more wonderful Mummyish thing to do than to homeschool a child who is suffering in a poor fit of a school. You can’t step up and be more of a loving, caring, nurturing Mum than that! The lines might feel blurred to your son, but actually choosing to homeschool is a decision that you made because you love him and you’re his Mum. I think when he grows up, he’ll look back and understand that he’s lucky that you were really there for him when he needed you most.

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