Facebook is the new fridge door

*** Disclaimer: To all my Facebook friends who might read this post. Please don’t let what I’m about to say make you think that I don’t want to see the posts you put about your kids. Cranky pants complaining is always more ‘read-worthy’ than happiness and sunshine. Feel free to ignore me and carry on as you were :)***

Lately I’ve been scrolling through Facebook a lot more than I would have previously done. One reason is that I am often sitting with a sleeping baby on me and can’t do anything else but pick up a book or my phone. Another reason that I am a member of a number of really great homeschooling Facebook groups, including one for the parents of Gifted and Talented children. I get a lot of great ideas and information from these groups and get a chance to ‘chat’ to other parents all over the country.

The problem I have with all this Facebooking I’ve been doing is that I have to constantly be bombarded with the photos and posts of friends and family who put up pics of their very ‘normal’ kids achieving certificates at school, or starting school and looking all smiley and happy in their too big school uniforms. Yeah, OK, I get it. Your kid goes to school. Yeah I get it, they complete their work and do good stuff, and get recognition for it. Some of them have kids who are super athletic and getting trophies. Some of them have awesomely talented kids in the arts. Great. I’m happy for them. I just kinda wish they’d keep those proud moments on their fridges like the old days so that I don’t have to see them every day.

Why?

Well, it sorta makes me mad. Or Sad, or to quote Oh from the movie Home “mad sad”. My kid doesn’t do any of that stuff. He did come home from school one day with a ‘smiley’ on his chart.

“What was that for sweetheart?”

“I didn’t punch anybody today!”

“That’s fantastic! Well done!”

sigh.

See what I mean? Each day in this house is a struggle to get my son to do anything even remotely resembling things that the rest of society would consider an achievement. He’s smart. Very smart. But when you refuse to even sit down for ten minutes and try to do your maths or writing, there is no way to show the powers that be, or the regular folk who think that education is based on output and testing just how smart he is. If he was tested in a conventional ‘school’ way, he’d probably be two years behind.

Him being behind in that way doesn’t really bother me at all. He’s smart, when he’s ready, he’ll catch up all that stuff. Right now, all his energy is going into his Lego models and learning stuff that he is interested in. I try to direct some of that energy into learning how to live in the world. He is better off knowing how to get along with people and not get into trouble every five minutes than learning his times tables right now. Although I know all this stuff deep down, I still find myself rolling my eyes a little bit at Facebook when people post their kids on there. Yes I do it too. I post the Lego models he builds.

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I post the strange things he does like catching wild birds with his bare hands and baking Minecraft cakes.

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I post the cuteness of his baby brother.

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But.

Would I put those things on the fridge if I didn’t have Facebook? Probably not. He doesn’t really care about certificates or stickers or prizes, so I guess our fridge would end up still just being plastered with calendars showing the next therapy session, and drawings of mines and trucks. That’s just who he is.

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8 Responses to Facebook is the new fridge door

  1. Andrea lee says:

    Hi Kathryn,

    Totally get what you mean. Which is why I have really stopped using my FB to share with my regular friend. Like your special homeschool FB group, I have several special needs FB closed groups that I am “active” on. That’s where I share with these friends about that time when my son called the radio station to participate in a quiz and he sang to the DJ, being a selective mute that is a feat! And the special needs FB group friends knows what joy that brings. These private closed FB group platforms are also where we have hot debates about medication and toileting (for older kids) and sharing which special school & specialist work for us and share panic situations and calls for help.

    Yes he will get there when he is ready. In the meantime, he is happier home than school and that’s what counts.

    You are doing a great job Kathryn 🙂

    Andrea

    • KL says:

      Thanks Andrea,
      Wow! He rang a radio station and sang for the DJ?! Good on him that’s awesome! I know you understand everything I feel. I’m just so glad that he’s improving (Mr M) so much and has made so many advances lately. He looked so healthy and happy the last time we saw him. 🙂 x

  2. Facebook isn’t real – the moments I mean. It’s like we all pick out the highlights of are life and post them. This leaves viewers wondering and jealous. It’s not just you.
    No one puts out their disappointments, frustrations, or mistakes.
    So, take it with a grain of salt – sounds like you already are. Now, I need to remember that next time I go on Facebook.

    • KL says:

      You are so right. I do know it’s not ‘real’ in that sense. Of course people only post the exciting and good stuff. And to be honest I do enjoy seeing all the good stuff my friends and family get up to. I’m just jealous because I have less of those times and I’m probably a little bit bored at home with the children all day every day.

  3. NickyB. says:

    I COMPLETELY understand what you wrote! I feel the same way.

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