It’s happened again, and it made me cry

Well, waking up this morning, I checked my messages as I often do. There was a very polite and to-the-point message from one of the Homeschooling activities we’ve attended a couple of times, informing me that she didn’t think her activity was a safe place for our son to be. Of course, I get it. Of course, I understand. I asked her if there was something specific he had done. Her answer made sense and was honest and correct. It did make me cry though.

Why?

Because it just makes me so sad every time we are rejected again due to our son’s behaviours. Being 26 weeks pregnant at the moment meant that I hadn’t been my usual attentive self and followed him around at the last activity he participated in.  I knew he was arguing a little with the person in charge because he wanted to do something that he wasn’t allowed to do, and he struggles to take ‘no’ for an answer. I had spoken to him a couple of times about it and I thought he had calmed down. It seems though that when away from me he wasn’t following the rules that had been given to him multiple times. Good, sensible rules for safety around big animals. Rules that children much younger than him were following without any trouble. Sigh. And he was on Ritalin that day too 😦

When he asked why I was upset, I told him the truth. His initial reaction was anger (that’s his normal response), then he became quiet and upset.

“Well, that’s another thing I can’t go to, I think I’d better just spend the rest of my life in my bedroom.” And off he went, sadly closing his door. That set me off even worse and I couldn’t stop crying for half the morning! Bloody pregnancy hormones!

Eventually I got a hold of myself and managed to get him to listen to me, although he wouldn’t allow me to hug him.

“You just need to remember that I love you a lot. I believe you can get there and you can do it. You just need to really start being aware of how your behaviour affects others around you. You really need to try listening and not just insisting on doing what you want all the time.”

I know he can’t really help that stuff, but I just keep hoping that the more I say it to him, the more he’ll try and then maybe the more he’ll succeed. Anyway, it’s left us both a bit sad and drained today. I also went to the Dr and found out I have Gestational Diabetes again, which sucks. It’s not a huge drama, just an inconvenience really of testing sugars and making sure my diet keeps the sugars under control for the rest of my pregnancy. Stupid faulty placenta. Sigh again.

Apart from all that, the baby is very healthy, and wriggly and cute. It’s hot hot hot here in Sydney, and I really wish we had a pool, but never mind!

And so from here we just pick ourselves up and try the next thing as practice. I’ve enrolled him in a science programme this term, that teaches to the NSW syllabus, but does it in a ‘natural’ learning way, without much reading, writing or watching of videos. It’s all about inquiry and hands on learning and discussion. Fingers crossed that it will work out.

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