So, I’ve started back at School of Rock for this year. Monday was my first session where we got to meet the whole cast and hear the set list for the big gig later this year. Our theme this time around is ‘Disco’. It’s awesome. So many great songs. If you are able to come to this gig, I would recommend wearing your dancing shoes! There are a few really great female singers in the cast, so naturally my lack of confidence in myself came to the surface.
Unlike my son, I won’t let it stop me, but I do still struggle with telling myself to get over it and just sing and have fun. I think the trouble I have, and why I get so annoyed at myself is that I can actually sing really well. REALLY well as I discovered in many of the later rehearsals last year. But, when I get nervous and have to sing a song for the first time in front of new people (or to be fair, even family members), I don’t sing it as well as I can because my nerves constrict my vocal chords. This time though, I’m determined to really put in heaps of mental work so that I can get over this whole debilitating thing even for the performance. I was getting really great responses from passers by as well as other cast members during rehearsals last year when I finally just let myself sing properly. So I know it’s there. I can do it. I just have to trust myself now!
Tonight I took my son to a ballet class for a trial. He’s been doing tap dancing for two terms (split by the Christmas break), and he’s been doing really great in it. The same school recommended one of their week night beginner ballet classes because it’s small, with not too many kids compared to the Saturday class. The teachers there already know my son and they are all great with him. I also gave him a half Ritalin booster late in the afternoon, to at least give him a chance at being able to concentrate and control his body. The class was at 5:15 so there is no way he would have had any Ritalin left in him by then.
I peeped into the room a couple of times, and there he was (the only boy, towering above all the little 5yr old girls), facing the front, copying the teacher, doing all the arms and legs just like he was meant to! He trotted past the door a couple of times in the circular line as they all had to be ponies, and he did barre exercises without a hitch. I peeped again at the end of the class and he was sitting down on a chair while everyone else seemed to be doing some kind of spinning, flapping fairy imitation.
When he exited the class with everyone else, I asked him,
“Hi! Did you have fun?”
Son: “Yeah! It was really good!”
Me: “Cool! So do you think you’d like to come back next week?!”
When we got into the car, I asked him why he thought he didn’t want to go back, if he had thought it was fun.
Son: “Because at the end of the class, we were told to all “dance like ballet girls” and I told the teacher that I didn’t want to dance like a girl so I would sit this one out.”
I thought for a minute then said,
“OK, so you’d like to do the class if you didn’t have to dance like a girl at the end?”
Son: “Yeah, maybe.”
Me: “Well, that’s OK, I have no problem with you sitting out the dancing at the end until you have learnt some of the more, ‘boyish’ dance moves so that you can join in the improvisation.”
When we got home, he asked if he could watch the movie ‘Billy Elliot’. He hasn’t seen it yet because of all the swearing and fairly mature themes through it. I told him about the swearing and stuff and he assured me that since he is now eight years old, he knows better than to copy that sort of language! Right! So, hubby and I decided to let him watch it, with us, so that we could guide him through and explain what was happening.
He loved it! At the end of the movie, he was so enthralled, and I said, “What did you think about that?”
Son: “yeah! It was really good!”
Me: “So, are you going to ballet class next week?”
Let’s hope that we have finally found something that he loves or even likes enough to stick at it for a little while. I don’t mind if he doesn’t, as long as we can find something else to try!