How funny is my kid? Honestly, despite so much progress, we still seem to be having the same old shoelace discussion each morning. Sure, we forget it a little on the weekends because he’s pretty much a ‘free-range’ kid and barely wears shoes at home, but still, we are having this same argument on week days.
This morning, being Monday, I decided I was too tired for a full scale debate about the daily necessities of personal hygiene and dressing.
Me: I’m going to brush my teeth, wash my face then get dressed. When I’m done, we are leaving the house to walk the dog. If you haven’t done all those same things by the time I’m ready, I’ll leave without you.
Him: OK. I’ll stay here, I don’t want to go for a walk. (He continues messing about with his breakfast)
Me: (In my head) Damn! That was stupid of me!
Me: (Out loud) No. You are seven. You have to go with your parents, no choice. You’ll just be going in your pyjamas.
Him: Mummy! Look at me! I’m already dressed!
Me: (In my head) Shit! He got dressed early to feed the chickens and get the eggs!
Me: (Out loud) Good. Less for you to do. Get on with it please!
He proceeded to brush his teeth and then brought his socks and shoes into my room and placed them ceremoniously on the floor.
Him: I am NOT putting my shoes on! I’ll wear socks and crocs. (He already anticipated my argument that his feet would get cold without socks.) I hate doing my laces up and I’m NOT DOING IT!
Me: (In my head) Sandals with socks? Over my dead fashion conscious body!
Me: (Out loud) Sweetie, why don’t you want to do your laces? You are really starting to get the hang of them now!
Him: I just HATE doing the same thing EVERY day! Why do I have to just do the same things over and over?
Me: (In my head) Well, you could start with not arguing about the same stupid stuff every day my darling! Please?!
Me: (Out loud) Darling, everyone has to tie their laces and put their shoes on every day. Doing laces is just one of those every day things in life. Do I have to do my shoes up every day? ( said while I was doing my laces of course, for emphasis).
Him: Well, yes. But you’re and adult! AND you’ve had a lot of practice!
Me: Yes that’s true. I did start when I was little though. I had to do my laces on my school shoes every day. I had to wear the hard leather ones with laces every day.
Him: Those leather ones don’t have laces. They are boots. My leather ones were boots with no laces. I’ll wear those ones!
Me: Nope. Mine were like the shoes we got you when you first started school. Remember the ones you wore for two weeks and then refused to wear them any more and because you had happened to have grown out of them, (and to make it easier for the teachers to remove his shoes when he was trying to kick them…) we bought you the boots instead.
Him: Yeeesssssss….buuuuuttttt…. you had lots of practice!
Me: How did I get lots of practice do you think?
Him: (quietly, resigned and with a sigh) By doing it every day.
He sat on the floor and put his socks and shoes on. He attempted each shoelace once (don’t get me started on whether he should try it more than once. We are happy with do it at least once at the moment!) He managed to get a floppy bow and I tightened them up for him.
Him: Well I still hate doing the same things every day.
Me: OK. How about we do the school work before we take the dog for a walk? Then you won’t need to put shoes on for ages.
Him: NO! I need to have a walk! I just need to keep to our same routine each day OK?
Sigh… He had no clue that everything he just said was more tangled and loopy than the shoelaces he so hates tying. The incongruence of his arguments over the last 10 minutes was blissfully lost on him and his seven year old logic. I just smiled and picked up the dog lead.