The following is a true story. Names have been changed to protect the innocent (which is a shame as the little girl in question has a lovely name!).
*Jim is my son 🙂
It was a sunny but cold Friday in Sydney. Jim* rode his bike to school as usual and his Mum went to the bank to speak to the manager about how much mortgages suck when you don’t have any money. After achieving a satisfactory outcome at the bank, mum went to a nearby cafe to work on learning her course material so that if anyone ever actually joined one of her courses, she would actually sound like she knew what she was talking about!
Everything seemed to be going very well for this stay at home mum until she received a phone call at 2pm. It was her son’s school.
“Oh hello Mrs Jim. This is the school just ringing to let you know that Jim has just left the school grounds on his bike.”
Slightly shocked, Jim’s mum replied,
“OK. Right. I guess he will probably come home. I’ll call you when he gets here, then I’ll bring him back up if you could have the year coordinator there for a chat?”
A few minutes later, the front gate creaked, the sound of a bike being thrown down onto concrete reached her ears, and then a blue uniform clad child opened the front door. One look at his face and the rage coursing through his trembling body told her that this one needed to be handled with sensitivity and she immediately switched into ’emotion coaching’ mode.
“Sweetheart! I can see that something really upsetting has happened. Are you OK?”
His little body still shaking in rage, his eyes unable to meet his mother’s, Jim sat down on a trunk at the front door and began fidgeting with the door handle, a sure sign that something was really not right.
“That F*&%ING BOB is an idiot!” he exploded emotionally.
Deftly avoiding the language that she didn’t approve of, Mum put her hand on Jim’s leg and said,
“Oh dear. What happened?”
“Bob told Sally to just leave me! He told her not to play with me anymore. Usually she doesn’t listen to him, but today she did! She went and played just with Bob and they said I was interrupting their game!” Tears started to come as he spoke, and he was clearly rather heartbroken by this outcome. After all, Sally is the girl he is going to marry, or so he tells his Mum!
Mum leaned across and scooped him into her arms. Giving him a big hug.
“Oh dear. I can see that has made you feel really hurt and angry, and very sad. I’m sorry that has happened to you sweetheart.” Holding him for a little while, she waited until he had calmed down, and then approached the subject of why he was at home instead of at school.
“Now, what should you have done instead of coming home when you had all those feelings?”
“I couldn’t go to the teachers! They just say stupid things like ‘oh, well having friends can be hard sometimes. Don’t worry about it, you’ll be friends again tomorrow’. That’s NOT helpful! I needed some Mummy love!”
His Mum felt very happy that finally he felt that Mummy was a good place to go when he had strong feelings, but clearly she needed to impress the importance of not leaving the school grounds under such circumstances in the future.
“Right, well I can understand that. Now we must get you back to school.” Surprisingly, he only argued a little bit, but he got in the car and even opened the gate for his Mum so she could park in the school grounds.
After a talk with the year coordinator about not leaving the school grounds, they managed to get him to go back to class for the last hour of the day. Then Mum got to hear some of what’s not been mentioned in the missing communication book of late.
It would seem her son is definitely showing longer periods of calm and less of bad behaviours. The middle period of the day is the most difficult (suggesting that his medication is actually wearing off faster now, so experiments around this theory shall commence next week) and during that time, he still leaves the classroom without permission, and throws things around and trashes classrooms. He steals money, and various other items, but it’s a lot less frequent than before, and he is better able to come back and settle down afterwards.
The year coordinator told Jim’s Mum that she is very good with him, and that she handled today’s escape very well, which is always good to hear for a Mum who is working hard on a tricky child. Sadly though, Jim is still being quite mean to a certain Autistic little boy. It did stop for a while, but has started again. Sad, but something to continue working on.
In other news, I have damaged something in my wrist and must wear a brace for a week to see if it heals. If not, I must get an x-ray to see if anything is broken. We suspect no breaks at present, especially since I don’t remember actually injuring it, it has just been hurting for about two weeks, and has been getting gradually worse. The brace helps, so hopefully it will improve by my next appointment with the physio.
Now we shall enjoy a long weekend thanks to the Queen having a non-birthday birthday! 🙂