I would guess that there are many people out there like me when it comes to that amazing feeling of bursting happiness that just can’t be contained.
I get it quite regularly and surprisingly, when I examine what gives me that feeling, it isn’t the obvious things like my child or my family. Of course I do get a great surge of affection, love and warmth from them on many occasions, but I think the feeling I’m talking about is an internal thing. Something inside me which wants to get out and needs to find an OUT valve.
I used to get this feeling from being on stage when I was younger. I loved it. There was a rush, a surge of adrenaline, and BAM! I wasn’t nervous, I was just really really…..joyful.
These days I notice it most strongly when I sing. There are some days, or nights when I just sing loudly, openly and awesomely. Something inside me is released when I sing in that way. It doesn’t happen to me all the time when I sing, and I think that’s because my singing voice is not practiced often so I am unable to really let it go all the time. Like any muscle in your body, your voice box and vocal chords need practice to be strong enough to let you let fly with an amazing song and sustain pitch and tone while doing it. Consequently there are times when I just sound awful. But when I get it right, when I’m ‘on’. Wow! There is nothing to match that feeling for me!
I also notice how it affects others around me when that happens. I don’t really sing in front of anyone except my immediate family, but when I get that amazing sound, and the whole song fills my head and heart and vibrates around the room, I can see my little boy look up and stare at me smilingly or my husband stop what he’s doing just to listen. I am not entirely sure whether what they are experiencing is a great sound that they are just enjoying, or whether they are actually picking up on the joyful feelings bursting out of me and flying around the room. Whatever it is, it gets their attention, and I love it! It’s like I’ve touched something deeper in them for those few minutes.
I also get it from dancing crazily around the lounge room to a really really great song. Music really does touch me in my ‘happy place’, and I guess I’m very lucky to have that ability to really hear and feel a song.
I can also get that feeling from writing something great. The way I write is usually very natural. By that I mean that I am not a planner when it comes to writing. Now this does make things difficult to follow through an entire story or finish a whole novel. Those things really do need planning if you want to get anywhere! However, my best writing happens when I just sit down in front of a blank screen or a new piece of paper and simply start writing. I’m not talking about ‘free-writing’ a technique used to get a writing mind turning and get over writers block. What I write is not confusing, it doesn’t read like a jumble of thoughts and ideas in no coherent order. I mean I can actually write an entire story or a few chapters of one in this way and when you read it back, there is very little which needs editing or changing. My husband has watched me do this sometimes and has told me he can’t believe how quickly I get the ideas out and onto a page and when he reads it, it’s something which looks like I’d been at it for hours and painstakingly edited.
It’s like I can see a scrolling auto-cue of words pouring out of my forehead onto the page. There are images there as well, which I describe and put onto the page. If I have characters who need to speak to each other, I actually hear their dialogue and I simply write that down as I hear it. When this kind of writing happens to me, I fill up pages very fast and at the end I feel satisfied and happy. I have an inner excitement, just like when I belt out a great song.
I would be interested to know what sort of personal things make other people get this amazing joy. Does my Dad get it when he plays his guitar? Does my husband get it when he does martial arts? Does my Mum get it when she ‘plays’ the stock market? Does my son get it when he jumps on his trampoline?
It’s really something you need to think carefully about because as I said, it’s internal. It’s personal. It has nothing to do with anyone else, or their reaction to you. It’s not the feeling you get when someone pays you a compliment or when you see someone you love doing something special.
It’s your own heart having the best time ever! Your own mind just going crazy with enjoyment. It turns everything around you white and gold and shiny. It can make you feel invulnerable to any kind of negativity in that moment. Pure joy.