When it comes to bikini waxing… stick to what you know!

Despite my new budgetary constraints, I simply refuse to attempt to give myself a Brazilian bikini wax! I have a little place I have been to for years for this service, and since it’s something which only needs to be done once every 6-8 weeks, I will keep on doing it.

However…Having not been able to find the time to visit ‘my girls’ for around 3 months, I thought of the clever idea this morning of popping up to my local shopping center which happens to be right next door to my son’s school to try out a new place that had opened up recently and were offering 25% off waxing.

I strolled into the shop and told them what I wanted, they were completely empty but the girl said I should come back in half an hour. That was already annoying, but fortuitous since I had bumped into my friend at school drop off and knew that she had planned to be at the shops doing her grocery shopping. I was therefore able to locate her quickly, and proceed to follow her around while she shopped, generally trying to distract her so that she would forget half the things she needed to buy!

40 minutes passed, and I re-entered the still empty shop that now had two staff members looking bored, and re-stated my request. They looked slightly terrified, but gave a small nervous laugh and nodded then led me into a waxing room. Now, if you are not familiar with what a ‘Brazilian wax’ is specifically, I am not going to be the one to tell you! If you are familiar, you will know the level of nakedness required and how you just kind of want it over and done with as professionally and quickly as possible!

As I lay on the table waiting for her to begin I firstly wondered why there seemed to be so much ‘faffing’ about going on. She was moving things this way and that, re-arranging stuff and not really looking like she was going to start any time soon. I casually glanced at my watch.

“Oh do you have to be somewhere?” she asked

“Not really… I need to pick my son up from school at 1pm….” I answered (it was currently 10am, so thinking back that might have seemed a bit rude of me to say that, but I really didn’t mean it that way!)

She ‘faffed a little longer then finally applied some wax to the offending hairs. My immediate internal response was, “oh that’s why this place is so cheap. They use the leg wax with the strips for bikini waxing too… prepare yourself for pain.” She did two or three strips in this fashion before I finally looked at the wax pots to my right and noticed that the correct wax was actually there. It was all shiny and pink and thick and lovely, and beckoning me to say something because it knew very well that it had the power to reduce the discomfort of this experience!

“Um… The other place I usually go, uses the eyebrow wax when they do a Brazilian. You don’t do that here?” I asked, trying to sound dumb rather than accusatory.”

That terrified look came over the girls face, and she immediately said,

“Oh! Sorry, I was just waiting for it to be warm enough.”

She grabbed a stick and did a bit with the good wax. I am not kidding you, she plastered that wax so thickly and didn’t leave a little end bit so that she could rip it off!!! ARRRRGGHHH!!!! She had to do little tugs to get a hold of it and then when she finally pulled… half of it didn’t come off at all! Agony! (Also if you are familiar with a Brazilian wax, you will know exactly which ‘bits’ of me this was happening to!)

Now I am a fairly tough person and I’ve been having this kind of wax for a number of years. Usually it’s just a sharp little intake of breath, about 5 minutes to do the whole lot and I’m outta there. By now I had endured approximately 15 minutes of this messing about, and it didn’t seem to me that it would ever be finished!

Then to my utter surprise, the girl stuck her head out the door quickly, came back in and said,

“I just need to go and get some food, so I’ll get the other girl to come in and do it, is that ok?”

“Uhh… PARDON?!”

I didn’t quite believe what she had just said, especially since there was still a patch of wax on me at the time! I finally realised what she was saying and I kind of mumbled,

“uh… ok… sure…”

Another woman bustled in all puffed out and instantly set to work getting the piece of wax off me and then sorting out the rest of my wax.

“Ah!” I said, with sudden understanding.

“So you are actually the waxing lady. She was the nail lady right? She didn’t have any experience waxing did she.” It wasn’t a question.

“Oh! She does waxing too, but not so much experience with Brazilian! I am sorry, I was stuck in traffic and so I was late!”

She finished me off in about another 15 mintues. While it was less painful, it still really wasn’t a very good job and rather than asking me whether I wanted to leave a ‘runway’, she just hoed in and ripped the whole lot off! Then when I exclaimed in dismay, she said,

“You won’t get in trouble with your partner will you? For not having the patch there?”

Seriously?! What on earth does he have to do with it?! My goodness!

Anyway, after I had paid her and almost run out of the shop in horror, I immediately texted my friend to tell her not to go there under ANY circumstances! Then I called my husband and told him about the experience just to get it off my chest.

I have learned my lesson though! Stick to the place I know does it well, and in under 10 minutes total! You really shouldn’t underestimate your tried and tested waxing lady if you have found one and you like her. Don’t be disloyal and go to another, you’ll only be disappointed!



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