I had lunch with a friend today. She makes me laugh and I’m pretty sure I make her laugh too. We are so very different and yet we have so many similarities in our thought processes. Today as we discussed many and varied topics we came to an interesting realisation about our children.
My friend does not have a ‘special needs’ or ‘difficult behaviour’ child like I do, but what she does have is a highly talented and super intelligent child who goes to art workshops (adult ones) with her in the school holidays and stuff like that. His paintings are amazing for a 5 year old and especially when put in comparison with my son who is proud when he manages to splat a blot of paint on a piece of paper without accidentally mixing all the colours together to make poo brown. We have two vastly different boys! Despite these differences, our conversations led us to realise that the behaviour of our children is directly related to the amount of effort we put in at any given time. So… it’s all our fault!
For example, if I were to try and read a book for five minutes in the presence of my son, or do something which meant ignoring him for any period of time, I could justly expect the result to be a house covered in mess and destruction. He will have argued with me during the time at least 15 times, and there is a distinct possibility that I may have yelled at him and found myself wondering why my child is so annoying! It was a great relief to me to find out that my friend found exactly the same thing! School holidays are much less stressful for everyone involved and the relationship with your children is greatly improved and they suddenly seem less annoying if you actually DO things with them! So… it’s all our fault!
I did mention to my friend that I was jealous of her because at least her little one likes to do things that she enjoys too. They will paint and draw and do things like that. Since I am not overly ecstatic about bmx bike riding on dirt tracks, or running around the backyard at 500km/hr pushing a yellow truck and moving dirt from one part of the garden to the other side, I am often really pushed to try and keep enthusiastic about joining in and keeping my son entertained! My friend pointed out that the children do usually gain a bit of their interest in what they see from their parents. So… it’s all our fault!
I KNEW I shouldn’t have let him see me racing around on a bike and pushing a truck.. damn it! I thought I was alone and unobserved!
Either way, and for whatever reason… all parents need to know that it’s all OUR fault!